What These Popular Books Would Order from a Coffee Shop

Photo by Mike Kenneally on Unsplash: a latte with coffee beans around it

Because this is what I think about

As someone who used to work in a coffee shop, I can tell you that the adage is true — you can tell a lot about a person by their coffee order. Since many readers (like myself) subconsciously assign personalities to different books, I can’t help but take a guess as to what these books would order for their morning pick-me-up.

Keep in mind that I’m working off the personality of the book as a whole, not just the main character. Let me know if you agree!

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

Dirty chai latte.

Wiki summary: “The book is written in the voice of 16-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives in the future, post-apocalyptic nation of Panem in North America. The Capitol, a highly advanced metropolis, exercises political control over the rest of the nation. The Hunger Games is an annual event in which one boy and one girl aged 12–18 from each of the twelve districts surrounding the Capitol are selected by lottery to compete in a televised battle royale to the death.”

The Hunger Games (as in the first book of the series) is the type of personality that tries to be mysterious and cool but just can’t stop talking about itself. It knows it’s interesting. It walks up to the counter and tells the barista all about its life unprompted and the barista listens even if they don’t want to.

It orders a dirty chai latte because it “just has a lot going on right now” and wants an energy kick that isn’t too intense.

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

Black coffee with heavy cream.

Wiki Summary: “The novel tells the story of a young African-American girl named Pecola who grows up during the years following the Great Depression. Set in 1941, the story tells that due to her mannerisms and dark skin, she is consistently regarded as “ugly”. As a result, she develops an inferiority complex, which fuels her desire for the blue eyes she equates with “whiteness”.”

The Bluest Eye gives off trainwreck energy but in the way that you know it’s not the book’s fault its life is so hard. You just want to give it a hug. It doesn’t say much at the counter but it carefully counts out enough coins in exact change to buy one black coffee.

Then, at the self-serve station, it adds a bunch of cream because it wants to like black coffee — it really, really does — but everyone around it has told the book that black coffee is disgusting.

Honestly, knowing The Bluest Eye, it will probably spill the coffee on itself as soon as it’s ready to drink. Just tragic.

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

Something unnecessarily complicated.

Wiki summary: “The first book in the Twilight series introduces seventeen-year-old Isabella “Bella” Swan, who moves from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington. She is endangered after falling in love with Edward Cullen, a 103-year-old vampire frozen in his 17-year-old body.”

Twilight’s order is at least four sentences long and is really annoying to make. Twilight has convinced itself that this one detailed and drawn out beverage is the only way it can enjoy coffee.

Twilight gets all huffy about the barista forgetting to use exactly one and a half sugar packets, but when the barista goes to fix the mistake, Twilight dramatically goes, “Ugh, it’s fine. Whatever. Nothing in my life goes right anyway.”

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

Hot chocolate.

Wiki summary: “Set in the early 1990s, the novel follows Charlie, an introverted observing teenager, through his freshman year of high school in a Pittsburgh suburb. The novel details Charlie’s unconventional style of thinking as he navigates between the worlds of adolescence and adulthood, and attempts to deal with poignant questions spurred by his interactions with both his friends and family.”

The hot chocolate is for nostalgia and irony.

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

Indecisive but then goes for the safe pick.

Wiki summary: “The novel explores main character Janie Crawford’s “ripening from a vibrant, but voiceless, teenage girl into a woman with her finger on the trigger of her own destiny”.”

Their Eyes Were Watching God typically saves money by making Folgers coffee at home. But today it has a gift card. It studies the menu for a long time, considering what other people might think of its beverage choice. It debates between getting a simple hot tea (the frugal and responsible choice) or a caramel latte (what it really wants).

In the end, it goes for the tea because it doesn’t believe it deserves nice things.

I hope this was fun for any bored book-lovers out there. Any books to add?